That’s a very tough question, Tim! Let me first offer a disclaimer by saying that I am at least acquainted, and in some cases friendly, with owners / managers of most of the island’s “amazing” hotels, of which I would count seven that now are open. In this universe, I’m looking at places that offer fine dining, excellent personal service, lovely design & decor in guest rooms & public spaces, attractive settings & views, friendly pool and bar spaces . . . and, more broadly, what generally would be considered “luxury.” Not all have direct sea access. It’s a very competitive field . . . and next year will be even more so with re-opening of three more such premium places: The iconic Eden Rock Hotel, Le Guanahani (largest hotel on the Island, I believe . . . though maybe not after completion of unification of Cheval Blanc & Taiwana), & the Carl Gustaf (being nearly totally re-built by the renowned French operator of 5 Star resorts in Europe, Groupe Barriere).
Nonetheless, seizing on your criteria of small & quiet, great food & ambiance, and friendly staff, I would say that my recommendation would be for either “Villa Marie” or “Le Sereno.” Each offers, in my opinion, refined service and style in a setting of intimacy, calm, & beauty that I like . . . as well as great food. Other places, of course, are beautiful & great, as well. You won’t go wrong in choosing any of the island’s fine high-end hotels.