Formal "vous" or familiar "tu" when addressing others. Numéro Deux

After the initial "bonjour", you will have to know if you can address one with the formal "vous" or the familiar "tu". For instance if you are to ask how one is doing and the person is not a close friend or family member you will have to say"comment allez-vous?". If the person is a friend, family member or perhaps younger than yourself you will say:"comment vas tu?". This choice does not occur in the English language and is not so clear at times in the French language: I have friends who would as children call their own mother and father by "vous". Very old fashion indeed. Nowadays I believe the rule is more relaxed unless you from "royal" ancestry.

I use comment ça va- is that acceptable? Or when is that acceptable? My wife and I had a friend who owned a restaurant on the beach in Grand Case, St. Martin and his greeting was always "ça va" which I remember to this day.

In my opinion "comment ca va" is too informal to address people who require "vous" - in that case you could say "comment-allez vous?" also if you don't know someone you might not want to ask them how they are in such an informal way...
but as Americans we get a lot of leeway....

on the other hand I used "vous" on time in a sentence with a very good friend, and she thought I was mad at her... go figure!

its not just a French thing either..

same thing with Spanish..the use of "usted" as opposed to "tu"

seems petty to me.....but whatever

it's the beauty and richness of the romance languages perhaps...

andynap said:

I use comment ça va- is that acceptable? Or when is that acceptable? My wife and I had a friend who owned a restaurant on the beach in Grand Case, St. Martin and his greeting was always "ça va" which I remember to this day.

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Like Andynap, I often have friends greet me on St. Barth with "Ça va ?" It appears that use of the French language on St. Barth is more informal than on mainland France in this regard. My response is usually "Tres bien, et toi ?" Now you've got me thinking. Would one ever respond to such an informal greeting by using "vous" instead of "toi" ?

The language police will not come after you in St Barts but as anything a good and proper foundation is key. Ça va is a buddy buddy welcome which will not always go over well in business nor circumstances where you may have to hold your own....

To complicate the matter: locals in the FWI have a tendency to use "tu" more often than in France. As Pascale says, the language policy will not come after you in St Barths. However one must be cautious when addressing "tu" to people (in France) if you've never met before.

Mike R:
The Spanish thing is similar in grammar but used in a very distinctive manner. In fact, Spanish people (I don't know about the Latin americans) use "tu" even with people they don't know, depending on the circumstances. In fact people can take offense if you use "usted" the wrong way (for instance too formal when you need to be friendly).

It's definitely not a "petty" thing in the French and Spanish cultures.