FREAKY FRIDAY

I never, never give out investment advice, but read on:......


FOR YOUR RETIREMENT:
----------

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth

$49.00.
-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O


With Enron,

you would have had

$16.50

left of the original $1,000.00.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O



With WorldCom,

you would have had less than

$5.00 left.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-


But, if you had purchased $1,000.00

worth of Beer one year ago,

drank all the beer,

then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,
you would have had

$214.00.

Based on the above,



current investment advice is to



drink heavily and
recycle.


It's called the 401 Keg Plan

Andy,

Loved the story, but I'm a bottle guy for my beer. I guess I'll have to forfeit the return on the aluminum. I don't know what's got me hooked on glass for the brew, but I'm pretty serious about it. Of course, given the decision of no beer versus beer in a can will force me to go metallic.

LOL And

QUOTE:"Nekkid Shriners On Convention."

A VERY scary thought.

Is this your idea of a freaky friday? How to best keep your money or obtain more? I'd like to think there's more important things in life... love & laughs for example. Like in this one:

<font color="483D8B">
A white haired man walked into a jeweler's shop late one Friday, with a beautiful young lady on his side. "I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend," he said.

The jeweler looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding ring priced at $5,000.

"I don't think you understand .. I want something very unique," he said.

At that, the jeweler went and fetched his special stock from the safe.
"Here's one stunning ring at $40,000."

The girls' eyes sparkled, and the man said that he would take it.
"How are you paying?"
"I'll pay by check, but of course the bank would want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the bank tomorrow, then I'll fetch the ring on Monday."

Monday morning a very pissed off jeweler phones the man.
"You bastard, you lied, there's no money in that account."
"I know, but can you imagine what a fantastic weekend I had!"
</font>

Is this your idea of a freaky friday? How to best keep your money or obtain more? I'd like to think there's more important things in life... love & laughs for example. Like in this one:

Click to expand...

What's wrong with love, laughs and a little profit to boot?

Profit really isn't a dirty word....

...Particularly when you can use it to buy more love and laughs.

QUOTE:"Nekkid Shriners On Convention."

A VERY scary thought.

Click to expand...

It was a metaphorical construct. No actual Shriners were disrobed in making the financial calculations.

just poking at you, since you all know my heart is on the left side...

Profit really isn't a dirty word....

...Particularly when you can use it to buy more love and laughs.

Click to expand...

yeesh! now you got really dirty!

just poking at you, since you all know my heart is on the left side...

Click to expand...

Oh I know. Just having a little fun.



Thereby proving that Profits Equal Fun

- I'm coming, I sing to my handsome husband
*looking down my wallet*
- now where is that profit?

- I'm coming, I sing to my handsome husband
*looking down my wallet*
- now where is that profit?

Click to expand...

Oh Gwasshoppah, the bird in the hand is worth two in the bush - Master Po, circa 1974

I prefer the lucky love than the lucky gamble... not like theese poor women

<font color="B22222">
Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs. </font>

Actually, some fellows prefer The Moneymaker:

Turn it up some
Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
Whoo

Husslers shootin' eightball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)

Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain't gotta hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)

We don't care bout the drinkin'
Barely listen to the band
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey
It's for the badonkadonk)

But for Karibien, an example closer to home:

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Aint it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
Thats too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldnt have to work at all, Id fool around and have a ball...

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich mans world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich mans world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
Its a rich mans world

A man like that is hard to find but I cant get him off my mind
Aint it sad
And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldnt fancy me
Thats too bad
So I must leave, Ill have to go
To las vegas or monaco
And win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same...

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich mans world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich mans world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
Its a rich mans world

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich mans world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich mans world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
Its a rich mans world

Its a rich mans world

No ossified thyroids to look at today??

No ossified thyroids to look at today??

Click to expand...

The ossified ones are in decalcification solution and wont be ready until tomorrow.

No ossified thyroids to look at today??

Click to expand...

The ossified ones are in decalcification solution and wont be ready until tomorrow.

Click to expand...

LOL

No ossified thyroids to look at today??

Click to expand...

The ossified ones are in decalcification solution and wont be ready until tomorrow.

Click to expand...

But when they're ready...YUMMY!

But when they're ready...YUMMY!

Click to expand...

I learned something YEARS ago from an autopsy assistant that I have lived by:

If it dont come off the butt or the flank, I dont eat it.

Once you go through peritoneum to get to your food, pass me the veggies.

[quoteThen, he married the one with the biggest boobs. </font>

[/quote]

Yes, indeed. We need to change the caption in the pic posted by IV...perhaps his talents and best features cannot be seen from this angle.........