Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the

Dennis

Dennis

Senior Insider
Fun with Nuns

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you
all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months
to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he ask
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just
doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her
and says.
.....

"No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid
by 1 400 men in 6 months."

If you laugh, you are going straight to hell!
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

I suspect you boys deserved many, if not most, of the whacks you received from those nuns.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

I suspect you boys deserved many, if not most, of the whacks you received from those nuns.
Click to expand...

Maybe so but they didn't have to revel in it. The Christian Brothers too.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

Jeez Andy, where did you go to school?
What does your wife have to say about the nuns at Nazareth? I thought they were fine when I was there.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

It was in the 8th grade at St. Clements in Philly. I was at the board trying in vain to finish a long division problem when I got stuck. Couldn't finish it. Sister Norberta approached me and assured me I could finish it. I assured her I couldn't. She whacked the back of my legs with her ever-present pointer. I scratched out a few more numbers...knowing I didn't have a clue how to finish the problem. "I can't finish it!" I said. "You will finish this problem, Mr. C!" "I can't!" SLAP! Right across the face she slapped me. I pushed her back about 2 feet. A gasp then silence fell over the room. I looked at her and she looked at me. Without saying another word, I turned around and ran out of the classroom. I didn't stop running until I was in my basement at home. Needless to say, my parents were called and when they got home, it was not pretty. I can still remember the "conversation" with my father. It was the angriest he'd ever been.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

Except for the fact that all the nuns at Nazareth were Polish, Phyllis didn't have any problems because she was a goody two shoes. I on the other hand was a terror at St. Lawrence in Highland Park and West Catholic.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

I suspect you boys deserved many, if not most, of the whacks you received from those nuns.
Click to expand...

Maybe so but they didn't have to revel in it. The Christian Brothers too.
Click to expand...

I had Jesuits in Cuba for first and second grade. Dominican nuns third through eight grades. Christian Brothers through High School. They were all crazy and sadistic. You'd get better treatment from the guards at a high security prison.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

Hey Dennis, your story sounds like the old man being interrogated by the Gestapo.

Gestapo - "old man, signs ze papers".

Old Man, wailing - "I caaan't!"

Gestapo - "old man, I said signs ze papers".

Old Man, wailing - "I caaan't"

Gestapo - "Old man, why can't you signs ze papers"

Old Man, moaning "Because you've broken all my fingers"
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

If you read some of the stories coming out of our public schools maybe some strict Catholic School teaching is good. As I look back it was more funny than anything else.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

Hey Dennis, your story sounds like the old man being interrogated by the Gestapo.

Gestapo - "old man, signs ze papers".

Old Man, wailing - "I caaan't!"

Gestapo - "old man, I said signs ze papers".

Old Man, wailing - "I caaan't"

Gestapo - "Old man, why can't you signs ze papers"

Old Man, moaning "Because you've broken all my fingers"
Click to expand...

I admit that I was NOT a model student and felt the wrath of many a Nun. But to this day, I do not understand why she slapped me.

Andy, I am thankful that my first 8 years were spent at Catholic Schools...and even more thankfull that my high school years were spent in the public schools of Texas...them Texas girls preached a whole 'nother brand of "religion"...
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

If you read some of the stories coming out of our public schools maybe some strict Catholic School teaching is good. As I look back it was more funny than anything else.
Click to expand...
Yes, a lot of it is funny looking back but a lot of it was pretty sick as well. We had a couple of Christian Brothers that were dismissed or sent back to wherever they get sent for disciplinary action because of severe beatings they gave classmates. Discipline is a good thing, I wish we had more of it in our public schools, but with some of the nuns/brothers it was definitely over the line.
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

Sooooo....

You want disciplinary action?

dominatrix.jpg
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

I had Sisters of Charity ( now there's an oxymoron) through elementary school...then Christian Brothers in high school...then Jesuits in college...I was a parents worse nightmare in elementary school....constantly being sent to the office or home for defying them....rulers getting smacked over the backs of my hands by the queen bee nun....and other assorted sadistic rituals the nuns had....my poor mother for what I put her through.... still not as scarey as my old man however.....not easy being the son of a Dad who goes down to the jails and teaches juevenille criminals how to box, and then organizes Friday night fights for them ...LOL........I found the Christian Brothers to be pretty cool and they sure had a better handle on me then the nuns did.....by the time I got to college it didnt matter to me how the Jesuits were because at that point in time in my life, I got pretty good at ignoring people...but they seemed ok from what I remember
 
Re: Fun with Nuns

That's not fun with nuns-that's terrible.....She was projecting ...SHE was the one who had a problem she couldn't figure out...it's probably why she joined the convent...to hide or cover the truth of her problem...when you insisted you had no answer...your honesty raised such intolerable feelings in her...she slapped you..in the FACE.....in the face of the truth....you pushing back was healthy...as if to say.....it's not my problem....it's YOURS. Unfortunately, well meaning parents assumed a nun or priest was above being human, and was holy..you had no chance...
 
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