onebigdawg53
Senior Insider
new military compensation plan for officers
Seems that the USA military has come up with a new formula for compensating their officers. No longer will they be paid based on rank and years of service etc. Effective immediately they will be paid on the basis of a bodily measurement multiplied by a factor of usd 1,000 divided or multiplied by a secret number which depends on which bodily measurement is chosen.
So, the first three officers to be interviewed for the new salary plan enter the office.
The first one, a captain, receives the explanation and since he was a bit on the chubby side, he decides to choose his waist measurement as the basis for compensation. He is measured and had a 40 inch waist which they enter into the computer and out comes his new compensation - usd 62,000
The second one, a colonel, receives the explanation and since he was tall he decides to choose his height measurement as the basis for compensation. He is measured and was 6 feet 5 inches tall, that's a total of 77 inches. They enter into the computer and out comes his new compensation - usd 87,995.
the third one, a three star general, receives the explanation and after some thought he decides to choose the distance between the tip of his penus and his balls. The interviewer was appalled that a three star general could be so dumb and explains to him that the shorter the distance of the measurement, the less compensation he would receive. The general insisted and so they had him drop his pants so they could measure. Well, to their astonishment, the general had no balls and so they asked him "But general, how can we measure, where are your balls?". The general replies, "I left them in Vietnam".
Seems that the USA military has come up with a new formula for compensating their officers. No longer will they be paid based on rank and years of service etc. Effective immediately they will be paid on the basis of a bodily measurement multiplied by a factor of usd 1,000 divided or multiplied by a secret number which depends on which bodily measurement is chosen.
So, the first three officers to be interviewed for the new salary plan enter the office.
The first one, a captain, receives the explanation and since he was a bit on the chubby side, he decides to choose his waist measurement as the basis for compensation. He is measured and had a 40 inch waist which they enter into the computer and out comes his new compensation - usd 62,000
The second one, a colonel, receives the explanation and since he was tall he decides to choose his height measurement as the basis for compensation. He is measured and was 6 feet 5 inches tall, that's a total of 77 inches. They enter into the computer and out comes his new compensation - usd 87,995.
the third one, a three star general, receives the explanation and after some thought he decides to choose the distance between the tip of his penus and his balls. The interviewer was appalled that a three star general could be so dumb and explains to him that the shorter the distance of the measurement, the less compensation he would receive. The general insisted and so they had him drop his pants so they could measure. Well, to their astonishment, the general had no balls and so they asked him "But general, how can we measure, where are your balls?". The general replies, "I left them in Vietnam".
