a long time ago in a galaxy far far away....I was once out with a group of frends and our dates at a pub.....having a few beers and talking about thi

VW

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away....I was once out with a group of frends and our dates at a pub.....having a few beers and talking about this and that...well somehow the talk got to power tools...and who has the best and all that crap which basically bores the hell out of women, and they certainly looking as bored as they should have been...what can I say?...young men are foolish, stupid and basically clueless when it comes to how they act in front of women at times.....and most of these girls at the table were new dates, so there wasn't even that comfort factor which comes when everyone knows one another....so the conversation stays on power tools and all.....and who has the most powerful, yada yada...

and this girl, a pretty little thing who nobody really knew at all, other then the guy who brought her to the pub, and hasn't said a single solitary word to this point, looks at us all and says....

I suggest to you guys that the most powerful tool in the world is what I like to call, the Vaginal Wrench....it has moved mountains...caused men to fight wars....made good hearted morally sound men foresake their wives and families.... is 100% effective in negotiations between a man and a woman on just about any subject, delivers 8 pound babies through an incredibly small place....and I even suspect it can get any one of you boys to do anything short of killing yourselves tonight if it wanted to..........any argument from you all?????



dead silence..........


and she never said another word the rest of the evening...LOL

I never forgot that

Re: VW

And I thought Kevin Costner's speech in the bar scene from Bull Durham was good.

Re: VW

And I thought Kevin Costner's speech in the bar scene from Bull Durham was good.

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This one?
I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

Or the other one which I can't reprint here but can be found here about halfway down the page? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094812/quotes

Re: VW

"What do you believe in, then?"
Crash Davis: "Well, I believe in the soul, the c*ck, the p*ssy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

GayleR,

The above is what I had in mind, but yours is just as good. "Course, a man will listen to anything as long as he thinks it's foreplay," is a good line, but does anybody really believe that?

Re: VW

"Course, a man will listen to anything as long as he thinks it's foreplay," is a good line, but does anybody really believe that?

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Tim

Perhaps the line should read "Course, a man will PRETEND to listen to anything as long as he thinks it's foreplay,"

Re: VW

damn george, you're good

Re: VW

"Course, a man will listen to anything as long as he thinks it's foreplay," is a good line, but does anybody really believe that?

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Tim

Perhaps the line should read "Course, a man will PRETEND to listen to anything as long as he thinks it's foreplay,"

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loololololl

Pretend my butt!

Admit it, we've all given our FULL attention at one time or another.

Gregg

Re: VW

[/quote]

loololololl

Pretend my butt!

Admit it, we've all given our FULL attention at one time or another.

Gregg

[/quote]

Yeah, right, my FULL attention. Like the girl I used to date - gorgeous she was but a voice that would shatter glass - and I don't mean that in a good way.
She had the habit of singing along with whatever song the band was playing when we went out dancing. It wasn't too bad on fast songs, she was sufficiently far away and the band sufficiently loud that you could hardly hear it. BUT, during a slow song, having that screachy, out of tune voice, singing along with the song totally off key, right in your ear and loud. Yeah, I paid FULL attention 'cause I sure didn't have a choice - except to break up with her when her idea of musical foreplay by far exceeded my tolerance or whatever pleasure I would get later out of giving my FULL attention to that musical foreplay.

Re: VW

Perhaps the real trick is pretending to pretend....

Re: VW

Perhaps the real trick is pretending to pretend....

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Yeah, I know that trick - tune it out, smile and say "yes dear, yes dear" LOL

Re: VW

What is this- True Confessions or How Stupid was I as a Teenager?

Re: VW

Yes.

Re: VW

For a second, I thought VW was Virginia Wolf.

Re: VW

For a second, I thought VW was Virginia Wolf.

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