The Insiders' Guide to St. Barths: Trip Report (07/12/08 thru 07/21/08)

Here I sit, it's 103 degrees outside, there's a hurricane ravaging the Gulf Coast, and I can't concentrate on a thing. Is it too soon to start planning a return trip? Well, I may as well give a little insight on the most recent trip and re-live a little of it by sharing it with all of you.

In the beginning there was the "RUSH." Hurry up. Get the kids off to their destinations. Work to get done. People to have coordinated. No, don't call me while I'm gone. Be sure the Blackberry is fully charged. A million things to do and get coordinated by flight time on Saturday. My life is too complicated. I NEED A VACATION!

I promise this report will not be a list of complaints, but here's the first one. Traveling anywhere by air, especially on American Airlines, is hardly worth the trouble anymore. We take child #1 to the airport to send to "medicine camp" in Chicago. His one suitcase weighs in at a whopping 56 pounds (must be the barbells). That'll be $50, each way. You can fly two suitcases at 49.99 pounds for no extra charge, but not one at 50.01 pounds. Doesn’t make any sense. Child #2 and a friend are then taken for their flight to the mountains. Since both are under 15 yrs. old, that's $50 each, each flight. For this fee the airline does nothing but keep the kids on the plane until everyone else is off and then tell the kids to get off the plane. Planes are full, passengers are unhappy, flight attendants are testy. Yuck!

Fortunately, the Dearly Beloved and I are getting to St. Maarten first class the whole way. Because of timing and unavailability of flights we have to spend the night in Miami. Word of caution, shuttles on the Westin website are a figment of your imagination once you actually get to Miami, but the hotel is nice.

Sunday -- Wake at a reasonable time and take the midday flight to SXM. Rested and a little more relaxed, with the help of a few glasses of bubbly grape juice. We arrive at SXM for the first time since the new airport has been built. We are a little anxious about the whole transfer thing, but resolved to handle it ourselves. The Dearly Beloved decides to stop at the Information Desk. I continue ahead, as expected, to the immigration line and figure out what our next steps are. Up walks the D.B. with information from a really helpful Info Desk person that we should go through immigration, get our baggage and then turn left to the small airline counters by the luggage carousel. Seems simple enough. I’m missing the old airport – it had it’s issues, but was cool in so many third world ways, plus I knew where to go and how to get around.

We breeze through immigration to "The Friendly Island." At least we don't get arrested or yelled at. Just a scowl and a couple of grunts. Do they actually speak any language on St. Maarten, or is it really just grunting and scowling all of the time. In four trips, that’s all I’ve seen so far…with one exception. The luggage comes out on the carousel. We turn to the empty airline counter and walk over. As soon as we cover the 30 feet to the airline counter, a voice from beside us greets us by name and immediately starts checking us through on St. Barth Commuter. It’s the nice gentleman from the Info Desk. We receive boarding passes and instructions on where to go, but "hurry because your flight is about to leave." I look at my watch that indicates it is 3:00 local time and wonder why the 5:00 flight is about to leave, but figure it’s better to just not ask, I might make the one conversant fellow devolve into a grunting, scowling troglodyte (I have that effect on people worldwide), and I didn’t want to be responsible for that on “The Friendly Island.”

A few minutes later we are standing in front of the SBC counter and someone grunts at us to not go anywhere. Evidently everyone for the 5:00 flight has arrived in SXM and as soon as they can make it to the gate we will be leaving. Lift off at 4:00, a full hour early -- Is this a great airline or what? An extra hour in Paradise for no extra charge. Oh by the way, we did see a couple of other residents of "The Friendly Island" around the waiting area that appropriately scowled and grunted at us, but to save the day, Mr. Info Desk (or his really nice twin brother), he’s everywhere, shows up to help be sure we get on the plane. I don't know his name, but Mr. Info Desk needs to be given a raise and put on the lecture circuit for customer service. The rest of “The Friendly Island” could learn a lot from him.

Great flight to SBH. The weather is mostly clear. The winds are calm. The landing is uneventful for any standards - spectacular for SBH standards. All of our luggage shows up on the carousel. We walk to the Top-Loc car rental counter. Our Smart is waiting. Things are looking good.

One minor problem. Since we are an hour early, Rosita (more about Rosita later, but a little preview - Rosita's the "best") is not there to meet us as expected. Kalu with Top-Loc calls Rosita. We visit on the phone and arrange to meet Veronique at 5:00. Since the Match is still open (I thought it was closed all day Sunday?), the D.B. and I walk across the street for a little shopping. We pick up a few essentials, wine, cheese, bread, wine, crackers, pastries, wine, ham, water, etc., and walk back to the airport with our goodies in hand. Our hostess, Veronique Giraud, arrives as we are loading the groceries in the car and off we go to Villa Tom.

Originally, we had tried to rent several different villas and they all kept getting rented the day before we tried. The same was true with Villa La Baleine. Did I mention that Rosita was the "Best?" When we couldn't work out a stay at La Baleine, Rosita contacted Veronique and helped us with everything we needed to make that rental work. She coordinated the deposit, etc. She helped with the car rental and even got us her discount. She helped with the air transfer arrangements. My only disappointment was not getting to meet her upon arrival at SBH so that I could kiss her feet.

Off we go to Villa Tom. Is it my imagination of have the roads on the island gotten MUCH worse in the last four years? The road from St. Jean to Lorient seems to be little more than a series of potholes interrupted by worn out concrete. At least it slows down some of the American made behemoths whizzing along. The Smart bumps along and like the "Little Engine That Could" finally chugs to the top of each of the hills. I miss the Mokes.

A description of Villa Tom is included in a separate posting.

Veronique shows us around. She's thoughtfully stocked the fridge with a couple of bottles of wine (a thoughtful Laurent Perrier brut and a sparkling rosé that I don't remember the name of), cheese, fruit, and some other snacks. We get the luggage to the bedroom, throw our provisions in the refrigerator and it's time for some serious R&R. A dip in the pool. Lie down on the lounge chairs for a while and start the debate that becomes the hardest question of the entire trip..."red or white?" Then it's upstairs with the D.B. to the balcony to watch the sun go down, play a few hands of gin, and enjoy the compromise to the raging debate, sparkling rosé with some cheese, crackers and fruit.

The sunset is spectacular. A few years ago, I was watching a football game and John Madden was going on and on about having never seen that last moment of the sun slipping below the horizon. We have front row seats for the day's event and make sure to appreciate that last second of the day before evening starts. Afterward we pull ourselves inside to get dressed for dinner without knowing where we were going.

The D.B. was beautiful. I was along for the ride, as usual, and happy to be in such fine company. A short relaxed drive to Gustavia and to our disappointment Au Port, one of our favorite restaurants, was not open. We decided to give Le Sapotillier a try for the first time ever. Look a table by the window just for us. Four other couples in the restaurant. It’s quiet, but we play “Spot the American Tourists.” It’s not a difficult game usually based on size, dress, and attitude. We win. We skip cocktails, move straight to the dinner – tenderloin (the sauce is incredible) and the special of the day…pigeon. Fantastic! A little dessert. Vanilla Rhum – this is why I’ve started making my own at home. And voilá, we trundle off to find the villa in the dark, delightfully fed and well on our way to a new state of relaxation.

Monday – It’s only 5:45 a.m.! Why am I awake and unable to get back to sleep? Oh well, there’s so much to see and do, I better get started…oh wait, no there isn’t, that’s why I came here. I bop down to the pool laptop in hand to check the office e-mail and a daily report I have to do because partners “should consider them selves to lucky to be on vacation” and are required to check in every day. Humbug! Maybe I’ll do a trip report for the folks on line. No that’s too much like work, this book is really good. Maybe a nap. A couple of hours later the D.B comes downstairs and finds me relaxing. She’s not happy that I got up so early, but it passes quickly.

Breakfast in the villa. Off to Flamands beach. It gets a little breezy and we settle on the beach. There are only five other people on the whole beach. Then the sand starts blasting us hard. We still have the pool and can spend a little time in Gustavia if we want to. Decide to go to Gustavia for lunch at Le Cantina. This is our second time to eat lunch there. Salad with goat cheese, honey, and bacon on toast. Delicious! Glad we only ordered one. A couple of cocktails and about an hour and a half playing cards and “Spot the American Tourists.” A couple from an indeterminate country comes in with their two small children. Nice family. Back to the villa. Sit by the pool. Nap. Sunset on the balcony with a bottle of white wine. The day turned hazy and we missed the end of the day moment. Good thing we saw it Sunday, it will be the only one all week, but it was still special.

Dress and go to Gustavia for dinner a little late. For some reason, there are hordes of people abandoning Gustavia as we approach it. I’m wondering if we missed an evacuation notice. It turns out that July 14th is a French national holiday, I think it’s Bastille Day. We missed the fireworks over the harbor by just…that…much. Dinner’s at Le Saladerie which is buzzing. Every place else that was open looked full too. Pasta dishes for the evening. Shrimp over fettuccine in a tomato sauce and fettuccine carbonara that is some of the best I’ve ever tasted. Vanilla Rhum in a small bottle that we managed to make a fair dent in. This was the most generous serving of any of the restaurants we went to. The service was hustling, but they were a little overwhelmed with the crowd. Still, a very friendly place and great food.

Tuesday – Slept in today, until 5:55. I gotta get a life. Monotony is a good thing. Check in at the office which is really good since it’s only 5:00 a.m. there. I get credit though. Ignore the Blackberry all day. Beach. Pool. Nap. Finally made it to the store for more provisions

Breakfast from the pastry shop in Lorient on the way to Gouvernor beach. There are only three other people there. Spend the heat of the day by the pool in the shade. Lunch at the villa. Dinner at La Plage at the Tom Beach Hotel. The food was OK, but not up to St Barth standards. Only two other couples in the restaurant. The mahi mahi was very tasty, but a really small portion, no really tiny. I don’t remember the D.B.’s dish, something beef, I think, or chicken. Plenty of room for dessert, always a bonus. Warm chocolate brownie with ice cream, etc. Not very imaginative, but helped fill the corners. To me this restaurant still had really good appeal for being more reasonably priced than any of the other hotel restaurants I’ve eaten at. Service is good, but was a little quick (I can’t believe I said that, but three minutes from order to entrée seems a bit quick) and not as warm as most other places we’ve been.

Overall, the day was notable because the daytime activity really ramped up. It seems like there is construction everywhere. The traffic is buzzing like mad. Lot’s of activity. Still there are few tourists anywhere which is not disappointing. After six, things really calm down, and in the evening, there’s almost nobody out. All’s quiet and peaceful as we head to the villa to look forward to a good night’s rest.

More to follow.

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Doing nothing on vacation is highly under-rated.

The continuing trip report. Apologies for the delay in posting. Life's too busy when not on vacation.

Wednesday – Just another day in Paradise. The day starts too early again, around 5:45. I don’t get up this early when I have to be somewhere at home. Must be all of the adrenaline flowing in my veins from yesterday’s lounging around at the beach. After a morning hanging out by the pool we head to town for the pilgrimage to Le Select. Once we get there it’s blazing hot, there’s no place to sit, and more people are coming…fast. We opt for the shade at Bar L’Oubli across the street. Our recollection is that the time before we had lunch at Bar L’Oubli there it was really good. Uh-oh, the person who greets us at the entrance must have learned customer service on “The Friendly Island.” A grunt and a head nod from her and we are seated in a prime location on the rail across from Le Select.

We order lunch. It comes and is eaten. Nothing special. Nothing worth noting. Sit and play cards for a while and wonder if we will see the nice couple of indeterminate nationality with the two kids. We ran into them at La Cantina on Monday and just walking through Gustavia on Tuesday. We nicknamed them the Adams Family. As luck would have it the Adams Family troops in right as we’re polishing off our dishes. Since we aren’t in a hurry to go relax any more, we sit and play a few hands of gin and watch the people come and go from Le Select. Since getting more drinks is evidently not happening, I hunt down the waitress, pay the bill, and leave. I don’t think we were very welcome there anyway.

The day is really hot so we head back to the villa for hurricanes (the rum kind) and naps. Maybe all the naps have something to do with getting up so early, or do I get up early because of all the naps. I’ll have to research that one next time. A quick note on making drinks in the villa, there are any number of places on the island to buy booze and mixes. I didn’t find all of the right stuff at any single location. Maybe I looked at the wrong places. Either expect to make several stops and get lucky (grenadine isn’t at many of the stores, but sweet and sour is even harder to find), or stick to wine, and easy cocktails. I prefer getting lucky (double entendre intended). Sunset on the balcony, champagne, cheese, crackers…by now if you’ve read the prior post, you know the drill.

Dinner is at one of our new favorites, Eddy’s. Somehow we missed this restaurant in our previous three trips. Maybe it’s the jungle growing over the entrance that isn’t exactly lit in neon letters. For those who haven’t been, the inside is a tropical throwback to the South Pacific. It reminded me and the Dearly Beloved of our trip to Bora Bora. The food even has a little Asian thing going too. By our standards on St. Barth, this was a crowded restaurant, maybe 20 people, but since it will hold many more, no problem. Service is friendly and efficient.

Thursday – I can’t believe it, I must have slept till 6:15. Now we’re getting somewhere. We make the trip to the bakery in Lorient. By now the staff there has to know we are coming. They intentionally have the one person who pretends to not speak a word of English help us. I really like this place. They smile, we point, we ask in English, they reply in French, I hand over the largest Euro bill I have and they give me change. It seems to work well for all of us. The pastries in this place are among the most beautiful I have ever seen, and taste even better. We eat on the way to Saline Beach.

Once we get to Saline we make the short hike in to the beach and head left to the very end. The beach is almost empty and the little spot across the rocks is available so we take it for ourselves. Sit and read a book, relax, break out the snorkel gear and swim a bit. A really nice way to start the day. Saline is one of the prettiest beaches anywhere. I hope they don’t ever put a parking lot closer to the beach. The short hike keeps crowds down. The heat begins to build and we decide it’s time to get out of the sun so we load up and head for the car. The hike out to the car is a lot harder than the hike in. It must be all the energy I expended napping. After we’ve cleared the last of the rocks before the parking lot, we pass the Adams Family on their way to the beach. I think one of them is a CIA operative and they are spying on us, at least that’s what is happening in the novel I’m reading.

Lunch at the villa. Have I mentioned how much I like staying at a villa instead of a hotel? More pool time and hurricanes (you can’t do this any better than at a villa). We begin the earnest conversations about our next trip and how many friends would be the perfect number to bring along…none or six. Rosita calls and says she’s going to stop by if we are around. I am thrilled to get to meet her.

Rosita comes by around 3:00. Because of issues with our villa, we drink the champagne she has brought on the patio by the pool, in the sun. The sun’s fierce, but unfortunately other than the master bedroom, there’s nowhere else for us to go, so Rosita has to sit and bake. She invites us to come see La Baliene with her tomorrow since it will be turning over its guests. We take the tour on Friday and are really impressed. La Baleine has a georgeous view and is beautiful in its own right. Next time we rent La Baleine unless we have too many people and then we rent La Baleine and somebody fends for themselves. Getting to know Rosita is one highlight of the trip. We feel like we have a friend on the island now. Isn’t it strange how you care more for a place when there’s some personal connection? I look forward to seeing her again.

It’s the night of the full moon, and evidently a couple of places are celebrating tonight. The D.B. and I get dressed for dinner at Le Ti St. Barth. I like this place, it’s air conditioned. The food’s really good too. We arrive around 8:00 and have the steak for two. Yum! There’s a guy , let’s call him Jean Claude, “mixing” the music for the diners, and he’s way to much into the whole deal. Maybe I don’t get it, but “mixing” seems to me like trying to find as many different artists as possible that can play the exact same tune in a different way. Most of it is indistinguishable thumping and honking. We could use a little more mix to the mix.

A couple of large groups have been added to the dining room and it’s getting pretty lively. Better for the people watching, but really hard for playing “Spot the American Tourist” since we are the only ones in the place. Several tables of Europeans are dining near us and then there’s two large tables of locals.

As we are getting ready to leave, the waiter lets us know that there’s going to be a fashion show and invites us to stay. We put aside our pressing time table and wait for the show. Three really tall, thin, and attractive girls that are really just “nekkid under their clothes” (with due apologies to Steve Martin) are tonight’s models. Hubba hubba. Oh by-the-way, have I mentioned that the D.B. was absolutely radiant tonight? What’s really interesting is the reaction of the locals. I don’t think they noticed the show, but the models had a very difficult time getting through the dining room for all of the conversation happening in the walk-way. This was all good fun and a good cap to a very pleasant day. Supposedly, the table dancing starts late and for the full moon party, it’s common for patrons to provide their own version of a “full moon”. We weren’t able to hang on long enough to verify the story.

Friday – The rundown is about the same. Yikes, early! Breakfast. Beach. Lunch. Hurricanes. Pool. Wine. Sunset. Aaahhhh!

On the way to dinner we stop for cocktails at Eden Rock. It’s been about six or seven years since we have seen it. The last time we were on the island, they were in the process of integrating the Filao Beach Hotel. I didn’t realize that “integrate” meant destroy and rebuild. The D.B. and I have stayed at Eden Rock twice before and loved it. It was (past tense intended) one of our favorite places in the world. Maybe we missed it’s essence, but things seemed really stiff and un-inviting. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful, but I really liked the old ambiance of the reception area with the restaurant behind it. To me the restaurant now doesn’t flow well and it’s sweltering hot with no ventilation possible. I’m sure the rooms are nice, but as we walked around the new addition in the dark, it looked too much like a South Florida motel on a beach. Our memories were of a very open and inviting place where the staff went out of its way to visit with the guests and make them feel welcome. We didn’t get any of that vibe. Hopefully my impression is all wrong, but it seemed like the whole thing had gotten so incredibly upscale that it had lost its soul.

We left ER for dinner at a restaurant up the hill from Le Sapotillier, the “(something-or-other) Supper Club.” I’m trying to forget the name. We had duck and lamb. I’m trying to forget them too. Fortunately, we sat outside on the patio and there was a nice breeze. There were only two other tables seated in the restaurant. I know why now.

It was dark. Not just “kind-of romantic dark to make the D.B. think I look better than she already knows” dark, but “I can’t see my plate much less what’s on it, are you still there D.B.?” dark. Service is sloooow too, not “you’re on vacation in the Caribbean” slow, but “have they closed and left us in here to die” slow. They do have a guy, let’s call him Jean Claude’s brother, “mixing” the music. I think Jean Claude and Jean Claude’s brother buy all the same recordings. As long as Jean Claude’s brother is mixing the music, we know somebody’s still here. We finally escape and head back to the villa.

Saturday – The days starts like all of the others. I could get used to this. I’ve decided to not go to the beach today. I need a break from the rat race. The D.B. and I finally head to town and spend part of the day wandering around Guatavia and deciding what not to buy. She talks me into a stupid hat I will never wear. It seems like a good idea at the time. As we are wandering down the pier along the harbor we notice a few people we don’t remember seeing before in St. Barth. Not the actual persons, but (now let’s be delicate) people that appear to have no visible means of supporting themselves and are looking for such support from me. We are a little surprised.

We meander over to Do Brazil for lunch. This is a great lunch spot, but the prices seem to have gotten a little high (over 40 Euros for a cheeseburger (the best I’ve had on the island), salad, and small bottle of water). The food’s really good though, and the staff friendly. They also have a guy, Jean Claude’s cousin, “mixing” things up. He’s really into his job. I think the music store had a three-for-one sale on tunes, and Jean Claude, Jean Claude’s brother, and Jean Claude’s cousin went for the whole enchilada.

We play “Spot the American Tourist” and win again (a pyrrhic victory) when a robust sized woman in a paréo and two piece swim suit decides to stand up and take the paréo off in the restaurant. Note to all readers, it may be acceptable to strip down in a restaurant on “The Friendly Island,” but not St. Barth. Keep it covered.

Fortunately, they have a fashion show too. Only one model, but “woo hoo!” Jean Claude’s cousin announces each new outfit with a flourish of thumping and honking. This is a fun place. The view over Shell Beach is interesting too. There’s kids looking for shells, an attractive woman fishing, without a fishing pole – I can tell it works since she finally attracts two men with the “topless two arms extended over your head cast – and couples just doing what I’ve been doing for a week…nothing much. We resolve to come back…and bring friends.

Before we get into the hurricanes at the villa, we decide that our last day on St. Barth shouldn’t be wasted. So in order to be productive we put a bottle of champagne in a cooler and head to Gouvernor Beach. It’s getting a little late so we catch the sun going behind the mountain, finish the champagne and work our way back to the villa. Perfect.

On one of our first trips to the island, we had lunch at Andy’s. Why haven’t we been back? Because of posts on this forum, we decide to go to Andy’s for dinner. It’s great. There are lots of tourists there and plenty of locals. Fortunately, we get a table right away; others aren’t so lucky. I recommend the Hot Rocks dinner. One table of about 20 locals is having a really good time. Once the freebie vanilla rhum runs dry, they buy a couple more bottles walk outside the entrance and keep going. The D.B. and I resolve again to bring friends next time.

Sunday – Already?? We have to leave today so we get up early to pack up. Instead of packing we race off to Gouvernor Beach again for a couple of hours. It is sooooo worth it. We arrive and are totally alone until a couple materializes out of the Governor’s Estate. They walk the length of the beach and disappear leaving us alone again. We watch the sun come up over the mountain. Finally, we trudge back to the Smart and slowly drive to the villa. We pack up and drive to the airport.

Things go well at Top-Loc and we don’t get dinged for all of the car’s prior dings. One thing I’ve found out about the car rental agencies in my four trips to St. Barth is that if you buy the extra insurance, they don’t care what the car has happen to it, assuming you don’t come back with a fender missing. I know the insurance is a waste of money, but I figure they are going to get the money one way or the other (the two times I didn’t buy the insurance, they tagged me for old rusted scrapes and scratches), so I just pay for it up front and consider it part of the cost of the rental. Life’s too short to sweat this sort of stuff in Paradise and I’m too mellow to want to have to fight with anyone over something this trivial right now.

We wait for St. Barth Commuter’s ticket agent to open up. He finally shows about 20 minutes before flight time. Next time we’ll do the same. Hey, who told the guy from Premium IV that he could just cut in line in front of 20 other people that have been waiting for at least 30 minutes?

We start the trek home. It’s a good thing we love our kids or they would be on their own starting right now.

The D.B. and I resolve to come back again…soon…just the two of us…and with friends.

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Doing nothing on vacation is highly under-rated.